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Director: Jonathon King
Cast: Nathan Meister, Peter Feeney, Danielle Mason, Tammy Davis, Oliver Driver
Plot: Henry Oldfield (Meister) returns to the family farm only to discover that his brother has been experimenting on sheep, turning them into carnivorous monsters.

What a load of utter rubbish!

Ever since I started this little B-Movie Wednesday feature, I have subjected myself to a lot of terrible films. I have had dumb shark movies, laughable premises and some films that I am surprised I managed to get to the other side of. Some of these movies knew they were being stupid and for that, they were let off the hook. As I watched movies about Al Qaeda zombies, I wondered if I had somehow immunised myself to the true bad nature of some films. Maybe I had seen the worst and I had somehow picked up the acquired taste. However, just when you start thinking that you are ready for any B Movie out there, you pick up a title that sounds like a laugh, and it turns out to be the utter low bar, when it comes to cinema. Black Sheep is that film.

black-sheep-2006-_140100-fli_1373978821

To summarise the plot, I would have to go with: Zombie Sheep. In fairness, the one good thing I could possibly say about this movie (and it’s not really a compliment, more a statement), is that it kind of knows that it is awful. Sure, it thinks it is a funny, self-parodying sort of awful, rather than a gouge your eyes out awful, but it doesn’t ever class itself as a good film. I guess it could have been worse in the fact that no one even tries to make the sheep scary. There is something a little ominous about them and a part of you wants to see them in action, but they look so daft and odd that you never share the lead protagonist’s ovinaphobia (fear of sheep). In fact, when they start getting murderous urges, you cannot help, but laugh, your mind broken by the sheer monotony of this film. There is one scene, the single scene that I even liked in the whole movie, where the sheep overrun a group of farm businessmen and tear them to pieces. I only wish there was more scenes like this, as it is insanely funny watching these sheep tear people inside out. There is also a little lamb mutant creature that looks even more daft than the actual sheep. The film’s credits like to point out that the special effects were crafted by Weta Workshops, but I swear that most of the effects are fake blood and a glorified sock puppet for this lamb mutant creature. I wouldn’t admit to helping about with these special effects.

The acting is barely worth mentioning, as it is that poor. This is the second B-Movie I have seen in a row with those Aussie accents. Bait featured Australians, while Black Sheep was made in New Zealand. There is something about that kind of accent that makes the acting feel forced. Maybe they aren’t bad actors, but the dialect is so hard to get around that the words end up feeling like something out of Neighbours. However, it would have been nice for the actors to at least try. Watching them was outright embarrassing at times. Oliver Driver walks around as a human slowly transforming into a sheep mutant, the movie getting him to walk around like an autistic goat. The villain, Peter Feeney, is even worse, not deserving to get a single acting job ever again. I am not sure if the other actors were slightly competent or just bearable in comparison.

And then there is the final zombie sheep monster that just looks even more ridiculous than both the sheep and the lamb baby mutant combined. Thankfully, the movie ends not long after that, because I was ready to turn the film off and condemn it to movie hell.

Final Verdict: Abysmal. No ‘self-parody’ tone can hide the fact that this is a crass, poorly-conceived movie, funny for all the wrong reasons.

One Star

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14 thoughts on “Black Sheep: The Review

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