I have been doing this Stalker Saturday thing for quite a while now. I like to think that most of you readers spend your entire week, checking the watch (and under the bed), for Stalker Saturday, waiting with either excitement or terror. Therefore, I would like to declare Stalker Saturday a national holiday. A national holiday you get once a week. Boom, done! I think that’s the legal way of doing things. Anyway, what do all national holidays have? Yes, great songs dedicated to celebrating the holiday. We have Slade for Christmas, Michael Jackson for Halloween, JLS for Valentine’s Day, etc… Therefore, I have decided to kick off proceedings with three songs that I think summarise everything we want from this proud national holiday. Any more we need to add are welcome in the comments.
4 – LITTLE PEGGY MARCH – I WILL FOLLOW HIM
The song starts with the kind of oldey music that most apocalypse movies or horror films use to build up a sense of dread. You probably spent the initial beats, wondering where I was going with this first song. Then the lyrics kick off straight away with the line: ‘I will follow him’. And then you get it. The lyrics just go from slightly amusing to downright creepy. ‘I will follow him wherever he goes’ escalates into ‘I must follow him’. It’s like the song is actually building up to a bloody climax. The only way this song could get any freakier is if it was sung by pale-faced eight year old girls, skipping, while being watched over by the doll from ‘The Conjuring’.
3 – BLONDIE – ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
Of course, this was going to make the list. Even if you are more partial to the One Direction version, the creepiness level still hits the maximum. It is essentially the same idea as the last song. A woman sees a guy and will stop and nothing to make him hers. I guess, Blondie can get away with it, because it is Blondie, but looking back, it is a weird song. Especially when it is thrown into the Rugrats Movie soundtrack. So yes, definitely one for Stalker Saturday.
2 – THE LONELY ISLAND – THE CREEP
This one kind of loses its effect, because it is meant to be Stalkery, but at the same time, it allows for us to get the maximum creepy factor. It is a dance move you need to learn if you want to scare the hell out of everyone. When this song first came out, me and my University mates planned to get together the outfit, learn the moves and hit the clubs, as the Lonely Island. However, by the time we were prepared, the craze had died down and it would have just come across as weird, if we hit the club dressed like that. However, for a Stalker Saturday…
1 – THE SIDEBURNS CREW – THE VALENTINE’S DAY SONG
I had to reference Valentine’s Day somewhere, guys. And this is one of the funniest songs to represent this time of the year. It’s the creepiness from these hilarious Youtube comedians (Jack Douglass, Toby Turner and Sean Klitzner) as they belt out this terrific song. I want to serenade someone with this song, preferably with two fellow singers. OMG! Who wants to start a Stalker Saturday band?!