I was going to call this article the 3 Most Unnecessary Nude Scenes in Movies, but as I collated the list of films which had used a cheap shot of boobs to get that ‘Nudity’ warning on the back of the DVD to gather some more buyers, I realized that this could potentially be a topic I shall be returning to very soon. Especially in the 80s and 90s, a single shot of nipple would be crudely crammed into the proceedings. I have nothing against nudity and when it is done well, it can be beneficial to the movie. However, the three films below threw nudity and sex into the movie so randomly and bizarrely that it was totally disorientating.
3 – DEMOLITION MAN
As I said, when it comes to action movies a few decades ago, it was normal for a random shot of a girl’s chest to sneak into the movie. For example, Lethal Weapon opened with a naked girl throwing herself out of a skyscraper. The writers of Total Recall even wrote a third boob into their movie. However, the award for most random boob shot goes to Sylvester Stallone’s Sci-Fi thriller, Demolition Man.
No. Not this nude scene.
Cue scene. Stallone is in a future hotel room, alone, still getting used to the futuristic setting he has found himself in. As he fiddles around with various objects, he gets a video call on his wide-screen TV. He answers and a naked woman is on the other end. She quickly covers herself with a pillow, claims she got a wrong number and hung up. I have absolutely no idea what this naked woman did for the plot. There is no reason to include this and it really should have ended up on the cutting room floor. It seriously feels like the writers were about to hand in their final draft and then suddenly remembered they forgot to throw in some nudity. Therefore, they squeezed it into the first place they could find, nodded in approval and called it a day.
2 – RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE
No, I am not talking about the brief nipple shot we get from Milla Jovovich in the lab scene. That was actually a fairly good use of nudity, capturing the idea that she is a puppet to these scientists and stripped of all dignity. In fact, it is a good example of nudity done right. However, in the very same movie, there is a baffling scene, where Mike Epps is driving around the empty streets of Raccoon City and he crashes his car, when he sees two naked zombie girls.
OK, I get that this is technically a joke, which at least gives it a purpose, unlike the first example. But it still feels a little unnecessary. Maybe this is just me wondering why we were supposed to find rotting corpses hot. It just feels so outside of the tone Resident Evil is going for. Never again, is there a suggestion that we are supposed to find zombies attractive at all? It just feels like the movie suddenly slips into a silly teen movie and I struggle to take the moment seriously at all.
1 – DOMINO
However, in terms of random nude scenes, the sex scene in Domino, feels so out of place and strange that I had to give it the number one spot. For this entire movie, there is a certain amount of sexual chemistry between Keira Knightley and Edgar Ramirez, as bounty hunters. However, they are professionals, so decide to not give into their desires and remain partners. Near the end of the movie, they are driving to their next objective, when they are drugged and lose control of the vehicle. The truck crashes in the middle of nowhere and they are left to die. High as a kite and bleeding out, Keira and Edgar crawl out of the wreckage. Their friends are dead, mentor Mickey Rourke is clinging to life and needs immediate assistance. Keira and Edgar give each other a look. This is the perfect time to bone.
Cue a trippy, shaky sex scene, where Keira Knightley strips off and has sex with her partner in the middle of the desert. I get that it is meant to come across as weird and there is a suggestion that the two of them never had sex at all, but hallucinated their true desires while under the influence and dying. But seeing as they were meant to be assassinated, I just did not get the scene. Why was this the moment that their sexual feelings had to be announced? There were far better moments in the movie for this scene, than crashed out in the desert, about to die. In fairness, Keira is so thin that I am not entirely sure her topless scene even counts as nudity.